She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
how drunk are you?
Several
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
