Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
