in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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