Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize