We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
