i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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