I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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