oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
