i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
