My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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