so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
