On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize