Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
