do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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