We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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