Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
