worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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