You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This baby is an asshole
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
