I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
