I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
