my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
