The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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