To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
