He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
