...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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