you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
