It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
