We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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