Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
two words...techno handjob
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize