I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
