i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
