at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
