Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize