found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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