i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
