"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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