i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
