Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
