that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
