I wannas sexs uuuuu
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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