sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
