there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
