Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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