How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
