:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
