Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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