at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
