It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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