OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
