I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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