There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
