i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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