My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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