I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
