Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
