First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
smell my finger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
