He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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