watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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